Top of the table, unbeaten and having put 8 past the Rogues in the first fixture, Southgate arrived full of confidence. They received a frosty reception with the sand based pitch unfit for play, but agreed to a contest on the vacant water based pitch, playing 25 minutes each way to finish in time for the men’s 1st XI match.
General Gear-Evans had spent the week in Coventry plotting how to overcome the absence of a regular centre half and had summoned his 14 strong army to appear at 10am for conkers, a scene so vividly captured and circulated yesterday by Hugh. The General unveiled a plan of naked ambition and devilish cunning, magically creating two centre halves in a 1-4-4-2 formation. Although fearful that not all Rogues had grasped the finer points of this formation, especially the significance of the gnome in goal (at least one Rogue confided that he thought, from its hat, that the General had selected Father Christmas in goal) there was a look of steely determination on Rogues’ faces as they took the field (not to be confused with bewilderment, which is a quite different facial expression).
Southgate fielded a solitary 11, just outdoing Rogues’ 8 and 1, but an investigation later in the bar revealed that the Southgate no 11 shirt had been borrowed from a Rogue, so that morally we were numerically ahead 20 – 0. Moreover, in Bulldog Barrett we had the only Bandana on display. The omens were good.
The Rogues took control from the start. Our two Antipodean dynamos embraced 1-4-4-2 by turning on their engines at the start and keeping in top gear until the final whistle, as usual, confessing afterwards that they had played their usual game, an unspoken acknowledgement that they belonged in the “not all Rogues” category referred to above. The twin centre halves, however, Hugh and Paul, were inspired by their new responsibility and dominated the midfield with countless interceptions and harrying missions. Indeed, virtually the entire team was on a mission to harass any Southgate player attempting to spend time on the ball, and anyone could have earned a new identity, Harry. Eddie the gnome was reduced to a spectator, both Charleses looked rock steady but underemployed and the other two members of the back four, Tony and Nigel, were more prominent in the middle of the pitch than defending as three quarters of the game was spent in the Southgate half.
After the first ball had broken in half and a short debate about the safety of the still frost bitten Southgate circle had temporarily threatened an early curry, the siege continued unabated. From a rapid pushed short corner injection from Peter, a stop and push from the General found a foot on the line, but the goalie saved Mike’s stroke; shortly afterwards the General neatly slotted home a pass from Ian, only to find that Ian had not run the requisite 5 metres from his self taken free hit before hitting the ball into the circle; a fine interception from Paul and pinpoint pass to Peter in the circle brought another save; and an interception from Ian and pass to Mike in the circle led to yet another save as Mike tried the subtlety of an accurate flick from close range when we were expecting to find the goalie in the back of the net along with the ball. A frustrating 0-0 at half time.
We took the lead early in the second half when a move involving Paul and Mike found Ian, who beat a player, rounded the goalie and slotted safely. We rang the changes, a late cameo appearance by Roger Newhall allowing him insufficient time to entertain the crowd with his customary aplomb. James, Mark, Peter, the General and Roger all featured in the upfront 2, keeping both themselves and the Southgate defence busy thanks to a stream of good ball from the middle 4 and, sometimes, from the back 4. Mark and James took on Roger Newhall’s crowd pleasing mantle with an entertaining clash in which each tackled the other, but the focus was on quality hockey and maintaining the stranglehold. Southgate’s equalizer came from nowhere, when after 15 minutes an innocuous run down the left and optimistic centre was neatly deflected past the gnome with either a stroke of extreme good fortune or a flash of brilliance. We suspect the former.
We were ahead again within a minute, another fine run from Ian being hastily cleared to Paul, who released Mike for one his penetrating runs into the circle, and Paul turned snapper when Mike slipped the ball back to him from near the back line. Two nearly became three when Mark swatted the ball just past the post and in his excitement David overlooked the fact that the ball had gone just outside rather than just inside the post when awarding a goal, but justice prevailed to leave the final score 2-1.
All who played agreed on the success of the new system, and your correspondent was the press in impressed. The General rounded off the on-field proceedings with a stirring valediction to his troops and a triumphant climax borrowed from Julius Caesar Veni, Vici, Vici. (I came, I conkered, I conquered).
Some Rogues stayed to watch the men’s 1st XI retain their position at the top of the South Premier League with a combative, if rather talkative, 3-2 win against a talented Spencer team and returned to the bar to hear tales of an inedible curry, details of which are too scary to print. Fond reminiscences abounded of the time when Richmond was famed for the excellence of its teas and visiting sides would enjoy their time in our bar, and lips drooled at the thought of a satisfyingly AA+ French bread with AAA British ham, cheese and pickle.
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